Switzerland to vote on legal rights for animals:

Is fishing as cruel as bullfighting? Antoine Goetschel thinks so. The Swiss lawyer carries the distinction of being the first man in the world to stand up in court on behalf of a dead (and eaten) 22lb pike.

The crucial issue, according to the sole animal advocate in Europe, was the 10-minute battle between angler and giant fish before the pike was finally hauled out of Lake Zurich and landed on the bank. Mr Goetschel insisted that the fisherman should have cut the line after the first minute of the battle to save the pike from unnecessary suffering. “Angling is as barbaric as bullfighting,” he told a Zurich court as a public gallery of curious and bemused fishermen listened on.

When I was 18, I took my wife to the family cottage, and proceeded to shock her when I pulled a small-mouthed bass into the boat and clubbed it to death with the oar. Not the most romantic thing to do in front of your significant other.

That reminds me of a story. Years ago when I was around 12, I went with my father on a fishing trip in Timmins, Ontario. It was the height of summer, so the water was warm, but in those dark northern lakes, only the top three feet ever gets really warmed up. We were fishing for pickerel, but we mainly caught pike. Big 24-36 inch pike with sharp teeth that would snap endlessly at the lines.

We were fishing in canoes so that we could portage them to virgin lakes filled with fish. All of our gear was borrowed from my uncle, who lived in Timmins at the time.

We were were paddling along one day, when my father pointed out a hawk soaring majestically in the sky. I turned to look at it and the whole canoe went over.

Poles, lures, and everything else heavy sank to the bottom of the lake. We spent the next hour trying to dive to the bottom to find the fishing poles, but not only does the water get frigid after six feet of descent, but the opaqueness of the surrounding water is terrifyingly claustrophobic. It’s like trying to dive while your eyes are closed and each foot of descent brings a new wave of shocking cold.

So remember, kids. When looking up in a canoe, lean back, not to the side.